Senior Citizen Falls Down Stairs And Rediscovers Ability To Belly Dance

Belinda Buttoniski, a 91 year old resident of Farmer Hills Home for the Old and Unwanted, slipped down a 122 step staircase and miraculously recovered her long lost ability to belly dance.

Belinda had repressed her natural skill and ability while she was a teenager being held prisoner at a Japanese internment camp and forced to watch re-runs of Slovenian polka clogging, which the Japanese soldiers mistook for Hogan’s Heroes.

After wooing the care manager at the establishment with her tummy twirling, Belinda began performing weekly instructional sessions every Tuesday night at 4pm for the other residents.

Belinda’s belly dancing program has sparked a resurgence in physical fitness in the Farmer Hills community.

Her program has also been cited as the cause of an influx of nightly activity between the patrons, according to caretaker Fay Mazy.

“They’ve been going at it like lobotomized hippies,” claims Mazy.

Attendance has increased with each session, with participants such as Tammy May-Garland and Wolfe Hefferford losing more than a combined seven pounds.

*Edit* Since this article was first published it’s been released that Belinda Buttoniski is pregnant with triplets. Reportedly, they only increase her belly dancing abilities.


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